Being a foster carer requires a unique blend of empathy, patience, and resilience, according to social worker Shalene Lemmie. With over 21 years of experience, she shares the key qualities that make a successful foster carer.
Essential Qualities of a Foster Carer
Foster carers come from all walks of life, but certain traits stand out. Lemmie notes that warmth, empathy, and a genuine desire to help children are paramount. "We're looking for human beings with good hearts," she says.
Warmth and Empathy
A caring nature helps children feel safe and supports their emotional development. Thoughtfulness also goes a long way, such as remembering a child's birthday during a difficult transition.
Patience and Resilience
Fostering can be challenging. Children may have experienced trauma, and behaviours can be testing. Patience and the ability to remain calm are crucial.
Flexibility and Adaptability
Every child is different, and foster carers must adapt to meet varying needs. Flexibility in routines and expectations is key.

Key Takeaways for Aspiring Foster Carers
- Warmth and empathy are the foundation of good fostering.
- Patience and resilience help navigate challenges.
- Flexibility allows you to meet each child's unique needs.
- Support networks are essential for foster carers.
Fostering vs. Adoption: A Comparison
| Aspect | Fostering | Adoption |
|---|---|---|
| Duration | Temporary (until child returns home or moves on) | Permanent |
| Legal Status | Child remains in care of local authority | Adoptive parents gain full legal rights |
| Financial Support | Foster carers receive allowances | Adopters may receive adoption support |
| Contact with Birth Family | Often maintained | Varies, often limited |
FAQs About Becoming a Foster Carer
What qualities do foster carers need?
Foster carers need warmth, empathy, patience, resilience, and flexibility. A genuine desire to help children is essential.
Can single people become foster carers?
Yes, single people can become foster carers. Foster carers come from all backgrounds, including single, married, LGBTQ+, and non-religious.
What support is available for foster carers?
Foster carers receive financial allowances, training, and 24/7 support from their fostering agency or local authority.
Becoming a foster carer is a rewarding journey that transforms lives. If you have the qualities and the heart, consider taking the next step to foster a child in need.