My stepmother compliments everything I do, and it's boosting my ego to dangerous levels. In this opinion piece, I explore the joy of receiving praise from an elderly loved one and how it can make you feel invincible.
The Power of Unconditional Praise
After about five minutes in my stepmother's company, I'm always in a good mood. She makes a constant litany of benevolently envious remarks. There's a lot of general observation about the condition of being me, and how fabulous that must be: “Oh to be 50 again”; “It must be wonderful to have an appetite”; “I wish I could still sleep in”.
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Ordinarily I don't give much thought to the singular pleasures of human maintenance activities – eating, sleeping, having a shower – but when I'm with her, I realize it isn't a bad life to be 52. Her admiration makes even the simplest tasks feel like major accomplishments.
Everyday Heroics
She’ll admire my particular skills: “Look at that!” “What?” “Look how fast you got out of the car.” It’s a fact, I’m incredibly good at this: I don’t grunt while I’m doing it; it doesn’t take 17 minutes. I’m pretty good at all sitting-to-standing maneuvers. “That’s nothing,” I think. “You should see me get out of a squat.”
Pairing a phone to a Bluetooth speaker, getting a printer to work, rewinding live radio – for these acts and more, I am basically Clive Sinclair. Strength-based activities, mainly unscrewing lids, picking things up and putting them somewhere else, unleash a torrent of enjoyable plaudits.
A Comparison of Compliments vs. Reality
| Compliment from Stepmother | My Actual Skill Level |
|---|---|
| “Look how fast you got out of the car!” | I'm average at best, but age makes it look impressive. |
| “You're so good at opening jars.” | I use a gripper pad – but she thinks it's raw strength. |
| “You fixed the printer – you're a genius!” | I just unplugged it and plugged it back in. |
| “Marvellous” (after I kicked the stiff door open) | I was showing off and hit my shin later. |
Sometimes I’ll heave a plant pot into the air and set it down again nicely, just showing off. Today I opened her front door, which is a bit stiff, by kicking it and she simply said: “Marvellous”.
Keeping My Ego in Check
I can keep my ego in check for as long as a lunch, but if we spend a couple of days together, I basically think I’m magic. Her compliments become addictive. The inflated ego can be a problem when I return to the real world where no one claps for me opening a jar.
Sometimes my stepmother will think I can do something that I cannot – read a menu without glasses, remember the name of a person we were just talking about – and because she’s only human and schadenfreude never gets old, that puts her in a good mood. So that makes two of us.
Key Takeaways from This Experience
- Compliments from elderly loved ones can boost self-confidence even in mundane tasks.
- It's important to recognize the difference between genuine praise and age-induced admiration.
- Keeping ego in check requires humility and humor.
- Cherish these interactions – they provide joy for both parties.
FAQ
Why does my stepmother compliment everything I do?
Can constant praise cause an inflated ego?
How can I enjoy compliments without letting my ego get out of control?
In the end, my stepmother's compliments are a gift. They remind me to appreciate the small things and to share joy with someone who sees the best in me. Even if my ego gets a little out of control, it's a small price for such a warm relationship.
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