Comedians should not be hot. It’s a hill I will die on. Being funny is an evolutionary trait developed by the unattractive to entice the very good-looking to mate with them. Yes, that is a fact, and no I won’t look it up. Therefore it is not OK for attractive people to also be funny. Comedians being hot is a crime against nature.
Why Hot Comedians Are a Crime Against Nature
I use the word “hot” intentionally. Beauty is ineffable. It can be found anywhere and in anyone. Hotness is different. It’s playing the game of society’s beauty norms and winning. Although, by spending any time playing, you have lost (like golf). I’m not ugly, but I’ll never be hot. I simply don’t have it in me. The effort! The commitment! The other day I went to a wedding and thought to myself: “I really like this couple, maybe I’ll shave above the knee.” A hot person would have probably already been professionally hairless, and, if not would have booked in a wax ASAP.
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The Rise of Celebrity-Level Hot Comedians
Many US comedians these days are celebrity-level hot. Hot by normal people standards, not just by comedy’s traditionally low bar. I think I know why. If you are a woman with any visibility, there will inevitably be a response online to your looks. If you are in any way not meeting normative beauty standards, it will be pointed out to you. A lot. If you can attain hotness, you may think that you become more bulletproof – that you will be judged on your jokes and not your appearance. But that’s a trap. Because once you’re hot, you’re no longer one of us. You’re a different species.
Data: The Hotness of Comedians Over Time
| Decade | Average Hotness (1-10) | Funny Factor (1-10) |
|---|---|---|
| 1980s | 3 | 9 |
| 1990s | 4 | 8.5 |
| 2000s | 5 | 8 |
| 2010s | 7 | 7 |
| 2020s | 9 | 5 |
As you can see, the correlation is undeniable. The hotter comedians get, the less funny they become. It’s science.
Key Takeaways
- Funny is an evolutionary trait for the unattractive to attract mates.
- Hotness is a social game that undermines the underdog status of comedians.
- Hot comedians are a recent phenomenon that threatens the authenticity of comedy.
- We must protect the sacred space of comedy from normative beauty standards.
FAQ
Why shouldn’t comedians be hot?
Because comedy is rooted in the struggle of the unattractive. Hot people have it easy, so their jokes lack the edge of lived experience.
Are there any hot comedians who are actually funny?
Exceptions exist, but they are rare. Generally, hotness dilutes the comedic impulse.
What can be done to stop hot comedians?
We need to celebrate average-looking funny people and stop rewarding hotness in comedy.
So there you have it. Comedians should not be hot. It’s a hill I will die on. And I don’t think that I’m going too far when I say that hot comedians are a crime against nature.
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