Sometimes parents have to take difficult decisions for the betterment of their kids.
Navigating the challenges of parenthood can be demanding, especially when faced with a child who has ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). Today, we have a story of one family, where a parent is grappling with the balance between their oldest daughter’s ADHD and the expectations placed upon her.
The Original Poster is a parent facing the unique trials of raising a child with ADHD. Despite providing financial support for her oldest daughter’s education, car, phone, and other expenses, she finds herself constantly disappointed by her inability to contribute to the family’s daily responsibilities. Simple tasks such as walking the dog or picking up groceries become neglected. OP was frustrated and told her that she would not be paying for her vacation. OP’s daughter was angry and attributed her struggles to ADHD. Scroll down for the complete story.
OP is a parent to five children, consisting of four girls aged 20, 17, 12, and 5, and one boy aged 10.
OP’s oldest daughter reduced her course load from 14 to 6 credits due to difficulty in math and science classes, now focusing on two online dance classes, alongside a 12-hour workweek at the post office, without any other commitments.
OP and her family, who haven’t had a vacation in years, are planning an extravagant two-week trip to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico, with separate rooms for the older two:
OP has been facing significant challenges with her oldest daughter, particularly in the past week, as she neglects her responsibilities like walking the dog, arriving late after hanging out with friends, and forgetting tasks despite multiple reminders:
OP’s oldest daughter has consistently failed to fulfill basic responsibilities throughout the week, including walking the dog, picking up medicine, taking out the trash, and picking up younger siblings from school:
OP has been providing financial support for her oldest daughter. She made a firm decision to withhold funding for the upcoming vacation and warned her daughter about the consequences if she doesn’t change her behavior.
OP is questioning whether she is TAH in this situation after her daughter told her that it’s hard to do things because of her ADHD and OP’s husband thinks she might be too harsh.

It is crucial to acknowledge the validity of ADHD as a real and challenging condition that affects individuals in various ways. The symptoms of ADHD, such as difficulties with organization, time management, and impulsivity, can pose obstacles in meeting expectations. However, finding a balance between understanding and enabling is a delicate tightrope to walk for parents. Well, ADHD should not be used as an excuse for being irresponsible.
OP’s daughter should grow up and take responsibility:
ADHD should not be an excuse for not doing chores:

It seems like OP’s daughter has more than just ADHD. She should consult a therapist:
OP is being reasonable but there could be more reasons why her daughter is not interested in house chores:

OP’s daughter decided that she wants to treat her ADHD naturally:
What do you think should be done in this situation? Share your opinions in the comment section below.
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