The latest dating terms are reshaping how we talk about modern romance, and understanding them is essential for anyone navigating app-based relationships. From shrekking to cookie-jarring, these new phrases describe behaviors that range from playful to problematic. In this guide, we decode the most talked-about dating trends of the year, helping you identify them in your own love life.
What Is Shrekking in Dating?
Shrekking is a term that emerged from the idea of the ogre character Shrek, who lives in a swamp. In dating, shrekking refers to someone who isolates themselves in their own "swamp"—often their home—and avoids social interactions, including dates, for extended periods. This behavior can be a defensive strategy after a bad breakup or a sign of emotional burnout.
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Unlike ghosting, where someone abruptly cuts off communication, shrekking is more about withdrawing from the dating scene entirely. It's not necessarily malicious, but it can leave potential partners confused if they were in the early stages of talking.
Cookie-Jarring: Keeping Options Open
Cookie-jarring is a more calculated dating tactic. It involves keeping someone on the back burner—like a cookie in a jar—while you pursue other options. The person being cookie-jarred is often given just enough attention to stay interested, but never enough to feel secure. This behavior is widely considered toxic and can lead to emotional distress for the person on the receiving end.
In a survey of 2,000 singles, 34% admitted to cookie-jarring someone in the past year, and 41% said they had been cookie-jarred themselves. These statistics highlight how common this behavior has become in the digital dating age.

Other Viral Dating Terms You Should Know
Beyond shrekking and cookie-jarring, several other terms have gone viral on social media. Here are a few you might encounter:
- Orbiting: When someone stops replying to your messages but still interacts with your social media posts.
- Benching: Keeping someone on the sidelines, like a benchwarmer, while you date others.
- Kittenfishing: Using slightly misleading photos or descriptions to appear more attractive.
- Gatsbying: Posting content on social media specifically to get a reaction from a crush.
Shrekking vs. Cookie-Jarring: A Comparison
| Behavior | Intent | Impact on Partner |
|---|---|---|
| Shrekking | Self-protective withdrawal | Confusion, but often no malice |
| Cookie-jarring | Keeping options open | Emotional insecurity, low self-worth |
| Ghosting | Avoidance of confrontation | Abrupt loss, unanswered questions |
Why Are These Terms Important?
Understanding the latest dating terms is more than just pop-culture trivia. It helps you recognize unhealthy patterns early and communicate better with partners. For instance, if you notice you're being cookie-jarred, you can set boundaries and move on. If you find yourself shrekking, it might be a sign to take a break and focus on self-care.

Moreover, these terms create a shared vocabulary that makes it easier to discuss complex emotional situations with friends or therapists. As dating continues to evolve, staying informed is key to maintaining healthy relationships.
Key Takeaways
- Shrekking is about withdrawing from dating, not necessarily harming others.
- Cookie-jarring is a manipulative tactic that keeps someone as a backup option.
- Recognizing these behaviors can protect your emotional well-being.
- Open communication remains the best defense against toxic dating trends.