In life, we often encounter unexpected twists and turns that challenge our relationships, careers, and personal aspirations.
Life often throws challenges at us and it’s on us to make the right decision at the right time. The story we present today is a testament to the complexities of love, the intricacies of immigration, and the ever-evolving nature of our professional journeys. This story is filled with heartfelt moments, difficult decisions, and the pursuit of happiness.
A young woman, OP, left her homeland of Indonesia to pursue her dreams in the United States. She embarked on a new chapter of her life as a graduate school student and soon met her boyfriend, a U.S. citizen. Their love story blossomed, but as time went on, unforeseen challenges emerged. OP’s immigration status and the uncertainties surrounding it cast a shadow on their relationship, leading to deep-seated insecurities and doubts. As the story unfolds, we witness OP’s heartfelt desire to build a future with her boyfriend, grounded in love, trust, and a shared vision of marriage and family. However, miscommunication and societal pressures complicate matters, revealing underlying fears and conflicting expectations. Scroll down for the full story.
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OP, originally from Indonesia, moved to the US seven years ago as a graduate school student. A few months after her arrival, she met her boyfriend who happens to be a US citizen.
OP and her boyfriend had a serious conversation about the future of their relationship after her graduation. OP expressed her desire to eventually get married and have children, and her boyfriend shared the same sentiments. Recently, OP’s company revealed the possibility of her department’s work being outsourced. 
OP brought up the topic of marriage during their anniversary, linking it to her visa issues. Her boyfriend’s unexpected response revealed that he didn’t plan on getting married before she obtained a green card.
OP expresses disbelief and disappointment, realizing that despite dating her boyfriend for seven years, he doesn’t seem to truly know her.
Despite encountering trolls, OP received supportive comments and messages. Since the original post’s removal, she is providing this update to respond to everyone and share further developments:
OP was on STEM OPT for three years before obtaining an H1B visa, which was a result of a stroke of luck in the lottery. She emphasizes the difficulty of obtaining permanent residency (PR) in the US:
OP responds to individuals who accused her of being a gold digger via DMs. She asserts her understanding of the legalities involved in sponsoring a spouse for permanent residency (PR).
OP recently transitioned from being a STEM major to a management role, earning a significantly higher income while her boyfriend has a lower income. They have been living together for approximately six years, maintaining a shared account for shared expenses:
OP has accumulated significant savings and investments. She assures that if her boyfriend had concerns about sponsoring her financially for an extended period, she would have been open to discussing alternative arrangements, such as joint ownership of a house.
Regarding OP’s situation back home in Indonesia, she reveals coming from a religious and conservative family and having a difficult childhood. Due to lack of support from her family, she cut contact with them upon moving to the US. However, the update is that her boyfriend is now her ex-boyfriend:
OP discovers that her ex-boyfriend had been harboring insecurities about earning less than her for some time. He had never expressed these concerns until now, feeling unequal in the relationship and suspecting that she was only with him for the sake of obtaining permanent residency.
OP reminds her ex-boyfriend of the support he had provided during her graduate school years, such as helping with groceries, offering rent-free accommodation, and lending his car for interviews. OP clarifies that her assumption of the majority of household expenses, now that she is working, is her way of reciprocating the support he had given her.
OP asked her ex-boyfriend if he would consider couple’s therapy, but he declined, believing that he wasn’t being unreasonable. He expressed a desire to be the provider in a relationship. Consequently, they have decided to end their relationship.
OP shares some good news. Her company has offered her a similar role in a different department, but based in France. Despite a slight decrease in pay, OP has accepted the offer and signed the relocation agreement.
TLDR:
“I don’t want to be with someone who makes more money than me because I’m too much of a wuss to handle it”
We are betting the former:
OP would be living a great life with her new boyfriend while her ex-boyfriend would be busy discussing OP:
How do you perceive the dynamics of relationships when faced with issues of immigration and financial disparities? Have you encountered similar challenges or witnessed them in the lives of those around you? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
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